They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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