About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
