Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize