i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
