I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
