Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
