this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
