The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
