I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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