Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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