I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
