Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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