is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
