butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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