So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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