You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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