Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
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