i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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