there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
