Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
