At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
