So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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