they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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