I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
