I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
