All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
