I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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