So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
