Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
