I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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