Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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