dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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