We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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