there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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