i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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