Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
