It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
