btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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