hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
