i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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