I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
