That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
