I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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