I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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