And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
