we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just pynch a tree in the face
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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