Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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