there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
how does that bad decision feel?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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