i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
