Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
