so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
