check it out our google latitudes are spooning
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
