My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
